The other day a friend forwarded to me one of those forwarded emails. Attached was this image ===>

 

The caption read: "And they say blacks don't blush!"

I burst out laughting. At first glance I thought it was hilarious. It reminded me of growing up in Soshanguve and witnessing that "township courting". The young woman, usually in her mid to late teens, would giggle uncontrollably as the man, usually slightly older, would pull at her wrist. This scene would take place outside a spaza shop or at the corner of this and that street.  It looked gentle to me, like a game they both knew the rules to. To me it looked like flirtation. I don't ever remember being pulled in this way. I remember always looking at it with a sense of longing. Like it would be cool if some guy would take the time out of their day to pull me like that. 

So with this association in my mind, in hysterics, I showed this image to a friend of who did not grow up in South Africa. She found the image violent and thought I was crazy for laughing. She could not understand how love or like or lust could be demonstrated in such an aggressive way. Erm...agressive????

I had never thought of it that way... I had honestly not thought about it since I was a kid...until that day of course. As a grown ass woman, after laughing my ass off, and realising that it might not be so funny after all, I wonder: Could abuse be a thing of perspective? Does the image being alien to my friend make it violent, and familiar to me make it okay? Am I fucked up in the head? Did those young women's wrists hurt like crazy? Is this image okay?