Being a woman is hard enough on its own without having to deal with the pressure of looking like/better than the next person.

There were times when this pressure came from men [sometimes intentionally and sometimes not] in the sense that you want to look your best around him so that he can notice you, be attracted to you and be proud to be seen with you.

Then there were times when this pressure came from the media with its sex sells propaganda and its misuse of influence. The daily talk of how “So and So” lost weight through this diet or that one and the “you’re not stylish if you don’t own a pair of this and that” tag lines.

Nowadays we have women judging each other based on the tips of manicures and quality/lack thereof, of weaves, the kind of cars they have been seen in, and the kind of company they keep in public and behind closed doors.

We have women running around buying Brazilian this and synthetic that, hiding and possibly suffocating underneath tons and tons of make up.

This memo must have been sent out while I was sleeping because I cannot keep up…

So am I less of a woman because I own more sneakers than I do stilettos? Or that I know more about hip-hop than I do about the art of applying make up?

Am I less of a woman because I refuse to weave my hair? Or because I consider leggings under garments?

Am I less of a woman because I don’t aspire to date a man who drives a Bentley but rather aspires to be chauffeured around in my own?

Am I less of a woman because this is the first time I use the word fierce? Or because I think Kelis is cooler than Beyonce?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to imply that the “I am not my hair” notion is an excuse not to bath [By bath I mean taking care of yourself and how you look] nor am I trying to imply that all women are the same.

What I’m saying is: Just because you’re shinier than me doesn’t make you better than me, as much as, me rocking an afro doesn’t make me realer  than you.

You and I, she and I, you and her, all of us are different and that is where our beauty can be seen at its best.

Photographer: Lebo Luke Warm and Mbali Cindi